"suppression of all individuality"

Macneill Homesite Cavendish, PEI

Wednesday, Sept. 21, 1910

Cavendish, PEI

"...I certainly ought to keep a servant.  To do the housework I do in connection with my increasing literary work is too much for me.  But grandmother would never hear of  such a thing and would think me crazy if I suggested it.

   Sometimes I feel as if I could not bear for one day longer this ceaseless tyranny in petty things to which she subjects me....My success, instead of making it easier, has made it twice as hard by doubling the worries and mortifications which attend my circumstances here.  I am well off and tolerably famous--but the conditions of my life are not even physically comfortable and I am beset with difficulties on every side---and all mainly because I must live in subjection to a woman who, always inclined to be domineering and narrow-minded, has had those qualities intensified by age until life with her means the utter suppression of all individuality in those who live with her.

    Well--well--well!  I went for a walk in Lover's Lane tonight and forgot all these worries for a time in its ideal beauty.  It is always lovely but tonight seemed more beautiful than I had ever known it.  The soft, warm rain of the afternoon had extracted all the woodland odors until the air was dripping with fragrance--dying fir, frosted ferns, wet leaves.  That walk this evening gave me such exquisite pleasure as is impossible to express in clumsy words and furnished me with a little strength to go on with life and work."

The Selected Journals of LM Montgomery, Vol I., pp. 17-18, Rubio & Waterston

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The mother of a friend of mine passed away this week.  Within 3 days of that event, my friend's relationship status on Facebook changed from "complicated" to "married."  Of course, the notice of this easy transition made me think of Maud and her relationship with her grandmother.   Without trying to pass judgement on anyone or their reasons for what they do, I can't seem to turn off my study of human nature and wonder if Maud and Ewan were simply waiting for Grandmother to get out of the way so that they could marry?

The liability that I see in Maud's translations of her duty towards her Grandmother is the dishonesty of heart that is involved in it.

Dishonesty of heart, in my stream of consciousness analysis, eventually leads me to the subject of marriage to Ewan.  What immediately comes to mind are  words I once heard being pronounced as a portion of liturgy from a Hindu wedding ceremony I saw on TV--- "Beware--Beware!" 

Photo taken at Maud's birthplace at Clifton, PEI

Newspaper article that is showcased from the time after Maud became famous

Happy wild flowers, Lover's Lane, Cavendish, PEI

Maud on Charlottetown, boat trains, Victoria Hotel

Saturday Noon, June 22, 1918
Victoria Hotel
Charlottetown, PE Island

Glory be, here we are.  Last night we reached Sackville, three hours late.  I had been worried lest the boat train wouldn't wait for us, but it did.  We had a most tedious ride to Tormentine in the dark.  This was the first time I had travelled over the new car-ferry route.  Perhaps I shall like it when I get used to it but I found it horrible last night.  There seemed to be no end to the shifts and changes, and with a heavy grip and two tired children these were not exhilarating.  And amid all the men around me not one ever offered to carry that grip for me or lift a child.  ....It was past three when we finally got to bed at the hotel...

....Today was fine and distinctly cool.  The Island flavor is excellent.  But I feel very much like a stranger in Ch'town now.  It does not seem to be the town of my girlhood in any respect.  I took a walk round "The Square" and tried to "think myself back" but couldn't."
The Selected Journals of LM Montgomery, Vol I, p 248, Rubio & Waterston 

The nice coffee shop lady at University of Prince Edward Island was telling us about how the train was taken off the Island in the old days.  It was hard to comprehend, but evidently, the train was placed on a ferry and taken to the Mainland.  This must be what Maud is referring to in the above reference to the "boat train". 

I cannot find anything on the internet referring to "Victoria Hotel."  However, during my visit there,  I did see a pretty brick edifice nested deep in Historic Charlottetown that seemed to be of the period, and it looked to be a very nice Bed & Breakfast.  The signage called it "Victoria..."  but I cannot find anything about it on the Net, so I don't know if that edifice would be the"Victoria Hotel" from Maud's time.  I doubt it, most likely the hotel having been in downtown Charlottetown and gone now or with a new identity. 

Also, I can certainly relate to the above passage where Maud speaks of carrying the heavy grip and "no end to shifts and changes". 
I think she was saying that she was a weary traveler!!   Glory be!

Dalvay-by-the-Sea

Dalvay-by-the-Sea aka "White Sands Hotel"

"A National Historic Site of Canada, featured in the Sullivan EntertainmentTM Series Road to Avonlea and the popular Anne of Green Gables movies."

Of course, the Dalvay is extravagant, but a must-see for the first time visitor to PEI.  I was a little surprised to find that there was a $20.00 entrance fee just to get into the Park to meet our reservation obligations at the historic hotel.  I had a sense that I had inadvertently hurt the toll keeper's feelings with my response of incredulity when she asked for a toll. 

If you want to dine anywhere in the Park on the weekends you will need a reservation.  We ended up having to leave the Park and head to Charlottetown to eat supper and that was no easy task on the dark and unknown roads and curves of 20 miles length.  But having already spent a great deal of money that afternoon for "high-tea" we decided to go someplace else for supper.

That same afternoon, the Matron of the hotel got snippy with me when I went downstairs seeking help.  Being technically challenged with an unfamiliar ironing board, I couldn't get the thing to collapse.  "It must be a Canadian ironing board", I said.  It wasn't a complaint, just an observation about something that I wasn't familiar with.  She gave me a retort, "It is no different from American!"- I didn't know how to respond to that.  The good looking male Reservationist neutralized the moment by quipping that all the ironing boards there came from China.  I had no choice but to go back to my room and work at the frustrating mechanism  (one like I had never seen before) for several minutes until I finally won the contest.  Anyway, all was almost forgiven when it was time to check out and the same Matron actually smiled and agreed to take care of the disposal of my failed suitcase, and gave me large plastic bags to carry out my things.  I told her that for the good customer service in that particular time of need that I would give the hotel a good rating on the Internet....

So this is it....
  

The personified sea-wind that gushed through my open bedroom windows while I slept was worth the price of admission. The soft bed and cool linens was the most comfortable of the entire trip.  It was certainly worth the price, as I say.

Anyway, I'm so glad to be home on the one hand  and so ready to go back to the Mari times on the other hand.

Why do I get the feeling that I have been there before???

Ewan or Ewen? Maud's grave and headstone

Herein lies a mystery:

why the different spellings of Ewan's name on the Macdonald grave marker?-- Ewan & Ewen.

I don't get it-- if the first spelling was wrong, then why not pull the marker up and do it right?

For some unknown reason Maud preferred the wrong spelling of Ewan's name when she wrote it.  Why is it that the wrong spelling is being corrected on the grave marker, and this for all the world to see?

 It's confusing...

The wish for her own separate grave marker (as she stated it in her Journal) has not been carried through.  It is possible that she never clearly pronounced her wish to her family-- only to her Journal. She must have been terribly out of sync with the people around her.  Did she expect that her wishes would not be carried out anyway?

"Well, I hope when I die my sons will not grudge me a gravestone of my own!"

 The Selected Journals of LM Montgomery, Vol V, p. 102, Rubio & Waterston

Also, the graveyard has been heavily polluted with the noise of traffic at the stoplight and the gas station across the street.  It is very unsettling. What can you do?

Herman Leard's grave site at Bedeque reveals a certain poignancy. I observed it as thus: that his resting place is exactly as I would have hoped that Maud's own resting spot could be. The Bedeque Cemetery across the street from the Baptist Church is situated on a grassy knoll where the sea breeze is free to flow.  There is a shade and a quiet there.  Where would fate have carried them if Maud had married Herman instead of Ewan?

As we were leaving out on the Highway from Cavendish and passing by the cemetery, one of my traveling companions called out to me, "There is a crow sitting on Maud's gravestone!"  It just so happens that one of the features of my personal photographic style is to capture the image of birds as they perch on the monuments in our local cemetery.  The crow perched on Maud's grave as we were leaving Cavendish seemed to be a supernatural symbol of saying good-bye.  Why did I not turn the car around???

(Below, birds and monuments I have photographed at home)

Maud's Island - Sunscapes

Lucy Maud Montgomery's Birthplace, Clifton, PEI (New London)

The window on the stairway that Maud's mother, Clara, would have peeked out of to see her husband working at his store next door. She may have been cuddling baby Maud as she was heading down the stairs.

The Kitchen Window where Clara could have watched for Hugh to come home.

The kitchen in Clara Montgomery's home

LM Montgomery's Birthplace

The room where LM Montgomery was born.

A replica of Maud's tiny-waisted wedding dress. 

There isn't a lot that is remarkable about this place except to say that it is a sweet little cottage and I like it.

I learned that Father Bolger ("The Years Before Anne") from Stanley Bridge visits here every day.  Stuart, Maud's second son, never visited here until 3 weeks before his death.  It was "his first and last visit here."

Hugh John's store was located in a lot that is to the corner of the placement of this house.  The store was not a success and the building is no longer in existence. 

Why do I feel like I've been here before????

Lower Bedeque

Confederation Bridge - exit or entrance to PEI

LMM Landmarks, Schoolhouse - Lower Bedeque

The PEI policy of getting on the Island free of charge, but having to pay to GET OFF kept me pretty baffled.  What happens if you run out of money while on the Island?  Do they set you up a cot, or do they let you off the Island, but not before making you sign a promissory note?

Since I had taken the Wood Island Ferry to get over to the Island (that was a sight to see coming up to the Island at Twilight)  it was yet the more expensive mode to take an exit.  So,  I decided to take the Confederation Bridge back to New Brunswick thereby saving myself $17.50. The LMM landmarks in Bedeque had to be foregone on the fast Week That Was, but I made a mental decision that if I saw a road sign indicating the Bedeque location then I would stop there on my way through to the bridge.

The Bedeque stop-over was obviously meant to be, for their before me was the sign, Bedeque,  just before coming up to the bridge.

Green Gables, Cavendish, PEI - July 15th 2010

The 14th Colony and Halifax

One of three boarding homes where Maud resided during her short sojourn in Halifax--

Maud's room is located on the right hand side of the building.

I fell in love with Halifax!!

This city, on a grander scale, reminds me very much of my own hometown in North Carolina.  Halifax is a seaport city with an expansive scope of North American History. It retains many interesting caches of period flavor and ambiance. Oscar Wilde, during his Canadian Tour in the 1880's,  made a stop in Halifax at the Waverly Inn on Barrington Street.  Wilde's "ghost" has been purported to show up at the Inn on occasions.  Was he also so enamored of the city?  I like what Wilde is quoted as saying in 1882 as he was passing through US Customs to embark on his US-Canadian tour:

"I have nothing to declare but my genius."

I wish I had thought of saying that!!

The Waverly Inn - Barrington Street, Halifax, NS

Oscar Wilde, author of "The Importance of Being Ernest"-statue in Dublin

Graveyard in historic Halifax

   

"The Race that Knows Joseph"

The Guild, Charlottetown, venue of Tuesday night's wonderful performance, "Nine Lives of LM Montgomery" 

"Now there arose a new king over Egypt, who knew not Joseph". Exodus 1

Until last Tuesday night when I attended the musical Nine Lives of LM Montgomery, I had never made the connection between "The Race that Knows Joseph" and dream interpretation.  This became evident in the wonderful song of the same name (The Race that Knows Joseph.).  Ah, yes, I said to myself!  Joseph was an interpreter of dreams.  This adds even more layers to my understanding of the whole identity of Maud's coining of the name.

Well, this morning, in my first waking moments as often happens to me,  I had a dream, or rather a sort of vision, like a movie short.  It went like this:

Maud was standing with her back against the side of a brick building which was several stories high.  I think the building may have been a hotel and there was a sidewalk surrounding the building, and an expanse of green lawn that also surrounded the perimeter of the building.  Suddenly, an ebullient little boy, Chester--well scrubbed and dressed in short pants--bounds happily around the corner from the other side. Maud stands dour faced with her back straight against the building and does not deign herself to peer around the corner to see where Chester has been or what he has been doing.  Perhaps she does not identify with the child, or perhaps she doesn't see her responsibility in monitoring what happens in the live's of little children. 

It could be either, or none of the above. Whatever her reasons were, it is very obvious from the dream that her back was against the wall (though she had options that she wasn't taking) and that she wasn't looking!

That's it!  Not much, but there it is.

Different Aspects - Lover's Lane

Mental Notes taken at UPEI Library

Old Lady

After browsing the various LMM exhibits edging around the room of the UPEI library, I made my way to the coffee shop in order to buy a badly needed cup of java.  The nice lady at the counter noticed my Southern accent and asked me in a friendly manner the purpose of my visit to UPEI.  I was grateful for the coffee and also for the rapport so I gave my truthful reply that I was on an LMM Odyssey.

She then regaled me with a short story:

"My Mother saw LM Montgomery once.  She was here at the train station-- visiting a cousin, I think."

"--What did your Mother say about her?",  I asked with interest.

"My Mother said she looked like an old woman.  She had on long skirts (the Coffee Lady pointed to her ankles).  She was very famous then."
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Now, this is the second time that I have heard LM Montgomery being described as looking old..  In "Remembering Lucy Maud Montgomery" (Alexandra Heilbron-2001- p 55)  Maud's grand-daughter, Luella, describes her grandmother similarly:

"I remember my grandmother as just an older person, and she had that older-age palsy kind of thing ..."

Maud was only 67 years old when she died--not so very old when seen from my vantage point-- and she was vain about her looks.  Was she completely oblivious to this "old fashioned" look which other people saw on her?  Or, was it simply stubborness that held her back from entering into the trends of a time which she did not feel to be a part of?  I wonder if life had simply beaten her down so much. 
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The Hammock

I was very shocked upon my perusal of the model of the Leaskdale Manse to see "Ewan's Hammock" placed under the trees of the front yard in full view.  I simply do not understand the wisdom in the placement of this hammock.  It seems that it might have appeared unseemly for the minister of a congregation to be viewed as leisurely when he and his family are being supplied with a roof over their heads. I've always suspected that Ewan was lazy (or unmotivated) and the sight of the hammock just underscored that feeling for me. 

While reading Journal I on the airplane ride home,  I found the following::

"Ewan sat among us in silence and gloom.  He got someone else to motor Mr. Mutch to Zephyr and remained at home lying in the hammock....

...Ewan had been perfectly well right up to that week and he certainly had not been working hard all winter.  Ewan is not the type of man who overworks--he "takes things easy" in all respects."
The Selected Journals of LM Montgomery, Vol I, p. 322, Rubio & Waterston

(I can't help but ask myself, why would Maud feel surprise in noticing the same characteristic in Chester?  Why would it seem acceptable for her to "push" Chester, and not push Ewan? Would Chester, or anyone for that matter, be able to understand a fairness in this approach?)

The Haunted Wood - Green Gables

Star Gazing at Green Gables

Kitchen Window at Green Gables, PEI

Cavendish, Thursday, July 15th, 2010--

On Thursday, we did the Tourist tour of Green Gables National Park. After supper at Chez Yvonne's, we stepped out into a twinkling moment of waiting sunset at Cavendish Shore. Upon the sinking of orange sun deep into the Western sky, we found that the rest of the night fared well for an undertaking of momentous import.  So, we scrounged up some courage and a flashlight. There was a moment to be seized for Spirit hunting. With some mild trepidation, we stepped into the path that led behind Kindred Spirits Inn and crossed over the Golf Link in to Green Gables. No Spirits were in evidence there but we did find a canopy of spraying stars hanging over the spot like a soft benediction. Perhaps there was a Spirit there, after all!!

We walked through the back yard and went home.

Later that night, I found this Journal Entry written by Maud where 100 years before me she is talking of a starlit night in Cavendish! I find it very strange that Maud would have walked for three miles in the dark night on the Island. She obviously felt no fear of snakes (there are only garter snakes, I found out) or Bogey Men on her Island.

Friday, February 10, 1910--
Cavendish, PEI

(Maud has taken a walk to visit her friend, Amanda Macneill Roberston, in Mayfield 3 miles away!!)

"The only pleasure of the outing came when I was walking home alone with my good friends the stars.  I also had the delight of seeing for the first time the mysterious, phantom-like Zodiacal Light....
....I never took up anything (astronomy) that gained such a hold on me or that gave me such strange, eerie, unearthly pleasure--the most purely spiritual pleasure I have ever known since there is indeed nothing of earth about it."
The Selected Journals of LM Montgomery, Vol, I p. 3, Rubio & Waterston

PS, there are no deer or moose on the Island, but we did see lots of foxes!!!

Peering down the hill at Green Gables, PEI

Morning at Dalvay by the Sea

Last night we had dinner in Charlottetown at a little Italian Bistro.  The chicken curry (at Italian?) was exactly what I had been hoping for.  We have scouted desperately for some Indian fare, but no go.  It seems that the Islanders aren't even sure what Indian food is!!

So, last night, we drove home to the Dalvay (20 minutes from Charlottetown) around curves and over hills of strange darkness.  We made it safe and the luxurious bed at the Dalvay provided with the best sleep yet.  There is no air conditioning here, but strong drafts of cool air gushed through the open windows and kept me company in my dreams.  I awoke with the sun, along with an attendant consciousness that the morning here  is truly a time of spiritual rebirth.  Evenings are lovely here, the supernatural sunsets, etc, but the mornings, at least at the Dalvay, seems to place one in a vortex of spirtual awakening that is very sweet.

Time for coffee at the Dalvay!

Sunset on Cavendish Beach.

Whispers from Maud at the Shore and the Haunted Wood-Photos of Park Corner

I am feeling a bit of Maud in whispers from the Sea on the Cavendish shore.

Anne of Green Gables has become a commercialized Santa Claus.  Anne is a moneymaker and a means of livelihood for the Island.  The MacNeill homestead is the one place that maintains integrity of Maud's purest intentions in her writings of home life and of the Island.  That is so nice to see for Maud's sake. I felt something eerie a couple of times at the Haunted Wood, but more on that later.

The seaside evening here is supernatural.  The landscape is beautiful, but no more beautiful to me than my own home by the Sea in North Carolina.  But, the sea is different here!  And our evening on the shore after last night's rain made me think of the Mists Of Avalon.  The sea and sky were fused with the hues of a silvery aqua pearl-essence and the result was supernatural.

Here are a some photos for the moment, lots more to come.

Highlights of the trip so far, Nine Lives of LM Montgomery and a vision of newborn mists on the sea after rain.

Park Corner

Me taking a picture of myself in Maud's Mirror (from Macneill Homestead) at Park Corner.

The SPOT, where Maud and Ewan were married in 1911.

My first glimpse of PEI from the Ferry.

Stranger in a Strange Land

Day 1 - Halilfax

After a grueling 13 hour plane journey,  we landed at 10:00 pm in Nova Scotia. (I "was feelin' 'bout a half past dead.")  My first encounter was a rude customs agent with a Scottish accent.  After being impatient and rude to me (I was so confused and tired) he finally allowed me through the gate.  "Well, I'm glad that worked out!", I said to him.

Then, the airlines lost my luggage and I needed help in the terminal (so confused and tired) and I received rudeness again.  My first two verbal encounters with the Canadian Public Servants being so negative, it naturally follows that today,  I feel a real aversion to the Canadian accent.  The lilting foreign brogue runs afoul to my ears, like nails scratching on chalkboard.

However, some good things did happen.  There was a very funny Shuttle Driver who drove us through drenching rain to the Hotel and all the while giving gossip of local celebrities (Anne Murray being one of them).  He was so nice and escorted me in to the Westin Hotel.  When I asked at the desk for some Ibuprofen (my arthritis medicine being buried somewhere in my bag in Detroit), they didn't have any on board.  The Driver very kindly offered to drive me out into the late night to find a pharmacy.  I declined his kind offer but was nevertheless very appreciative of his kindness.

Then, the Westin people brought service to my room: Chamomile tea (a double!) and toast with jellies on a tea service lined with white linen. The ensuing hot bath was awesome. The Westin, formerly The Nova Scotian, was built in 1928, and has retained a very deep Old World ambiance. It occurs to me that Maud might possibly have stayed here at some time.

My first impression on the view of Halifax Harbor was very grand.  Coming across the bridge of Halifax Harbor, I had a feeling of transversing our own River at home in North Carolina, only on a much grander scale!  That was fun.

It's raining cats and dogs in Halifax today.  More adventure to come!

Heading for Maud's Island....

Dalvay by the Sea

Tomorrow I will be boarding a plane which will head me Northward to Prince Edward Island.

Tomorrow night, I will be staying in Halifax, Nova Scotia, where Maud spent an independent year of her young life while writing for the Halifax newspaper, The Echo.  On my return to Halifax on Saturday, I will spend a little time taking a look at Dalhousie University where Maud attended, just to see if I can get a feel of what Maud saw with her eyes while she was there.

On Tuesday night, we will be attending Mike and Leo's musical, "Nine Lives of LM Montgomery".  We are looking forward to that!!

On Wednesday, we will be heading to Cavendish, with a stop off at Tryon, PEI to visit with the people at the Museum there.  Tryon, PEI is named for our former Colonial Governor, William Tryon.  Tryon spent taxpayer money here in North Carolina to build a lavish mansion, then decided he didn't like the climate so he deserted the place and headed North to become Governor of New York.

Sometime on Wednesday or Thursday, we will take a trip for high tea to the Dalvay.  The Dalvay Resort was featured in Sullivan's "Anne of Green Gables" movie series.  (I can't remember where or when but I believe it is featured in Anne I.)

On Saturday, I will head back towards Nova Scotia for a little touring of the Southern Shore and some photographic opportunities of Peggy's Cove at sunset, and also to savor the delicious (so I hear) gingerbread at the Sou'wester Restaurant.

Look for some photos upon my return!!

Maud and Perfectionism

It seems to be a sad and ancient tale that Maud's married life was so unhappy in spite of her perfectionism.

Ewan,  being provided on a daily basis with delicious meals and a clean home and nice clothes, seems to never notice that the spot where he has landed in life is so much better than some.

Why couldn't Maud make him happy??

This perfectionism doesn't work.

I tend to think that Maud's perfectionism was her way of masking deeper feelings of weakness.

Just my plundering brain, writing this out....

Kindred Spirits Tea Room, Harkers Island, North Carolina

I don't go to Harker's Island very often any more so I don't know if this tea room still exists.

However, this is proof positive of just how far a distance that the long arm of Maud's talent could reach. 

It reached me, way down here in North Carolina!

Prince Edward Island,  I'll see you in 9 days.